Positive Attitudes and their Tyranny

 Me. That’s what I believe in. Being me. I know, I know, EXTREMELY cheesy. But, I’m actually being serious. If you were in my position, you would understand. Reading all those stories and listening to what they have to say was sorta inspirational, if you ask me. Unlike them, I’ve never really had anything really hit me, like “BAM! This event is going to make you a better person and enjoy life!” I’ve never been like that, all serious. My life is what you call bipolar. It’s on two sides. Sometimes I single out the good things, sometimes I single out the bad things. It just so happens that when something bad happens, something good comes out of it. But when something good comes, something bad comes out of it. Let’s just say my life, myself, and the whole general idea, well it’s very bipolar. Usually, people like me like to brand things. Like, dislike. Love, hate. Good, bad. Hero, villain. It’s just the way I roll as well. But positive attitudes, someone named Barbara Held changed my mind about them.   This is my take of: Combating the Tyranny of Positive Attitudes.

Barbara Held, a psycho-logist/therapist living in Maine has a little thing against positive attitudes. She believed that positive attitudes are overrated and you should never tell someone to keep one when they feel down. This, I strongly agree. When I heard this, I was having a bad, bad day so obviously I had to agree. No one really likes to be around happy people when they’re sad. It’s just plain depressing. “The problem is this demand for good cheer brings with it a one-two punch for those of us who cannot cope in that way: First you feel bad about whatever’s getting you down, then you feel guilty or defective if you can’t smile and look on the bright side. And I’m not even sure there always is a bright side to look on.” She says, in a recording of her essay. When I heard this, I was hooked. I seriously thought to myself: “Hey! I can relate to this!” And I did. She says so many things, psychological things, and philosophical things. Personally, the average person would shoo this away in disgust. But this is where I’m different. I may be bipolar and hypocritical, but I sure can relate to what people say, and how they say it. It’s not saying that I’m super-duper over achiever, but I like listening to these things.

But for this “This I Believe”, it was on fear. Listening to more of the recording, I learned that she had come down with the flu years ago, and with headaches after. The fear that brought her to this site was presumably the basis of this statement: “He reassured me that I would make a full recovery, but I was left traumatized by the weeks of undiagnosed pain. I really thought I had a brain tumor or schizophrenia. Being a psychologist didn’t help; I was an emotional wreck.” This was her pain. This was her fear. Being mentally ill. As a therapist/psychologist, it doesn’t help at all. You’re always debating what’s the right option, how mentally and physically you are dealing through the fear of being mentally ill. That’s the hardest part. Trying to take decision on what is the best choice for yourself, and on top of all that, the fear of making things worse. She was terrified. She had no one to turn to, except when she asked her psychiatrist-neighbor if she was schizophrenic. The reply she got was: “‘Professor,’ he pronounced, ‘you are a mess, but you are not a mentally ill mess. You are just terrified.’” This all, was true of course. This lightened up her mood a little, but one thing bothered her. She told him that her friends were telling her to lighten up, so he told her to say that, in plain words, “I would love to be cheerful, but right now it’s rough so leave me alone.”  Saying something similar to that helped lift the weight off her shoulders, and released her fear. That person, Aldo Llorente, helped her redeem herself and make her realize the unnecessary fear she had. And that, dear reader, was what made her go against positive attitudes and go on This I believe, so someone like me would eventually find this needle in a haystack. 

-R